I've read a lot of questions and answers lately relating to husbands/boyfriends that don't really help that much. They don't get up in the night, they don't help clean, they don't change diapers, they don't help with cooking or errands. How do you deal with that as a woman? I think I would be a bitter, angry, woman and our relationship wouldn't survive if my husband didn't have enough respect for me and our family to pitch in. Every time I read these questions, I thank my lucky stars that my husband is the way he is and helps out with everything.Husbands that don%26039;t help...how/why do you put up with it?
You thank your lucky stars for yours, I thank my lucky stars for mine.
My husband helps ZERO... He has never done housework in our 8 yrs. of marriage. He never babysits. Occasionally he will take our son for a couple of hours if I have an appt. or something. My husband is a hard working man. He works sometimes 16 hours a day of hard physical labor. Why on earth would I ask or expect him to contribute here? He makes a very decent living for us, and I don't want to add stress to him by asking him to do something I have plenty of time to do. It works for us, we each have our own jobs, mine just happens to be at home, and meet at the end of the day....
He and our son's time is from when he gets home until bed. I usually do my own thing around the house and let them bond. I would never expect his down time to be filled with a nag list.Husbands that don%26039;t help...how/why do you put up with it?
This question doesn't really apply to me, because my husband is great and helps me a lot. I thank my lucky stars for him, too. He's wonderful. But if it were like that where he didn't help me, I would probably be very bitter and I know our relationship wouldn't last if it continued for too long.Husbands that don%26039;t help...how/why do you put up with it?
I've never encountered that, but being angry and bitter is probably the worst thing you could do. It's ok to feel it inside, but showing it to your partner will probably make them even more reluctant to help.
I wouldn't put up with it either, I'd make it clear that he has to do his fair share. But, there's certain ways of asking people. Don't get angry with them, don't place blame on them, and just say 'would you please .....?'
Saying that though, I had a guy who did everything for our son. He was always there, changing his nappies, would get up during the night even though I was breastfeeding, would get up and iron my clothes before I went to work. He was great at all that stuff, but he was also great at lying, lol.Husbands that don%26039;t help...how/why do you put up with it?
I was young when I got pregnant, got married and had my son. I was well aware of my husband's shortcomings at that time. I knew what to expect from him and I understand people don't change, though I did mistakenly believe he would grow up as I did. He is a good father and an all right husband, but he certainly does not help me out a lot, he spends most of his time golfing. I am doing the best I can, working to solely support the family. When I get home from the office, he cooks dinner and then takes off for his free time. Free time - I don't know when I ever get free time. As we get along, and I do love him, I am willing to make these sacrifices in order to give my son the childhood I never had. I do get frustrated at times, as he is a stay at home dad who will rarely clean but does cook, but I have accepted his limitations. It's been ten years now, and while it's not ideal, it seems to work.Husbands that don%26039;t help...how/why do you put up with it?
I personally have no idea how or why women put up with something like that. It's beyond ridiculous! Steam would be coming out of my ears if my Husband did some of the things women complain about on this site.
No wonder the divorce rate is so high if women's standards are SO LOW.
I wouldn't deal with it, I would be gone. So I agree with you completely.
Now I'm all cranky. Lol.Husbands that don%26039;t help...how/why do you put up with it?
I dont have this problem either. My husband helps out all the time. He likes to cook me dinner. Of coarse, Im pregnant right now and Our child is yet to be born, but I know he will be helpful and whens he has his days when hes not, I dont feel like I should complain considering, He works full time, gets up at 5 am, puts in alot of overtime, plus side jobs. He brings in ALOT of Bacon and I get whatever I want...I just feel like, Well, Perhaps I should get up with the baby at night, because he works all day and gets up early. Im home all day and can sleep when the baby sleeps...Husbands that don%26039;t help...how/why do you put up with it?
I wouldn't marry someone like that, much less have a child with them.
A partner is supposed to be that, a partner. Someone who does more than just hand over money, and a parent should do more than that too. I would have NEVER had a child with someone who wouldn't change a diaper, and if it had happened accidentally, I wouldn't stick around if that's how they were. Just because someone works at a job doesn't mean they don't have to be a parent or help around the house - it's their child and their house too. It's so sad that anyone puts up with that nonsense in this day and age.
As a HUMAN, I think it's unfair. As a woman, I would hope that more are picking mates that are a bit more with it and refuse to put up with this sexism. Full-time parents work 24 hours a day, and just because no one hands us money doesn't mean that we should get the short end of the deal all our lives.
When discussing having a child, we made SURE to discuss his feelings on helping, what I would expect, what he would expect and so on - and we were on the same page. Doing this is just part of marriage - and if either of us feel overwhelmed or taken for granted, we discuss it with the other before it gets out of hand. My husband is a good person, a good friend, and a good father. We both contribute to our family, our household and to each others lives.
Having a household and family is more than handing over a paycheck.
You're absolutely right about it being a lack of respect, both for themselves and their partner when they agree to being treated that way.
