I am 25 and my husband is 34. He works and I stay at home with our two children because he makes plenty of money. I love him but he can be sort of an “old fashion” sort of guy, which is usually fine. However, he simply refuses to change diapers even when he has not put in a long day. It normally doesn’t bother me, but there are times I can’t do it and he just lets it go. He is a huge history buff and when I asked him to do it, he starts giving me a history lesson on the role of men and women in cultures and basically says this sort of thing is women’s work and he will never be some 21st century wimp. It is not like he is afraid of the mess. He has no problem gutting deer and doing any number of dirty jobs. I find it hard to debate him because he is an attorney and I end up feeling stupid. What can I do? I love him and our marriage is solid, but I just would like some help from him.How do I deal with husband who doesn%26039;t change diapers?
Taking care of two children can be a handful, but so can working full time. I personally think your husband should help you out once in a while, but I also think that you should be lucky that you don't have to put in a 40 hour week on top of being a mom, doing all the housework, cooking etc. Be thankful that your job is to stay at home and know how your children are being raised. Imagine if your husband couldn't make it on his own and you had to get a part time job, or worse you had to get a full time one and leave your kids at a daycare center with people you hardly know. Your husband may be stressed at work so changing a diaper might just be too much, even on his days off. A marriage should be equal and it is you and your husbands job to decide what is a fair trade off.How do I deal with husband who doesn%26039;t change diapers?
just tell him that he had as much fun making the babies as you did and a simple diaper change isn't going to make or break history but it could break your relationship.How do I deal with husband who doesn%26039;t change diapers?
If you feel intellectually intimidated it's not a real marriage. Tell him to shove the history lesson and do what needs to be done.How do I deal with husband who doesn%26039;t change diapers?
I'm sorry that he doesn't realize that he is a father and sometimes a father has to do the mundane tasks in caring for his children. I would be furious if I had to leave the kids with my husband for a day and he refused to change a diaper and the child got super bad diaper rash as a result. That could be considered neglect, surely a lawyer should understand THAT.
If he does help out around the house in other ways though, I wouldn't make a mountain out of a molehill. I would come up with an agreement. You will change all diapers, unless you aren't there to do it (in which case, he should, lest he be charged with neglect), and he does something else ALWAYS that you never have to do, like mow the lawn, take out trash, etc. Make sure it's a chore that you despise that you swap him for.How do I deal with husband who doesn%26039;t change diapers?
If his whole thing is how it is the 21st century wimp who changes diapers you can tell him it is also the 21st century wimp who gets sex in positions other than the missionary position as well as blow jobs. Hun you need to explain to him that you have the P.O.P (power of p@ssy) and if he ever wants to get any ever again he better think twice about his position on diaper changing!!How do I deal with husband who doesn%26039;t change diapers?
For me the most manly attractive thing a male can do is take care of his children.
To me HE sounds like a wimp!
My husband is the most masculine guy you could meet, but he has never refused to change a nappy (diaper), he also works long hours sometimes 12 hours a day 7 days a week, but without fail he will ALWAYS bath and put his little girl to bed.
Just tell him your concerned, ask him what would happen if you died and he had to take care of the children?
tell him he needs to learn how to become a daddy.
EDIT LOL YADDA YADDA!!
She is so right, tell him there are plenty of other pre-21st century traditions you could carry out, such as the missionary position, wearing a floral dress 21/7, wearing those big frilly knickers to bed ect ect.How do I deal with husband who doesn%26039;t change diapers?
Sounds like a thoughtful guy. :-) The best thing you can do is sit him down and tell him in a calm, mature, respectful way that you would appreciate it if he would help you by changing the childrens' diapers now and then. Tell him (again, very respectfully and calmly) that you have no interest in how people throughout history delegated this responsibility, you are concerned with here, now, in your own household, and you need his help. Explain to him why it isn't fair to the children to let them sit in dirty or wet diapers (diaper rash, etc), and that it is his responsibility as a father to see that his children are comfortable, healthy, and properly cared for, and there is no way around it. Be firm but respectful, and be willing to compromise. Maybe there is something he wishes you would do that you're not doing - be willing to accomodate him if he is willing to accomodate you. If all else fails and he is otherwise a good husband, you might just have to let this battle go -- after all, the kids won't be in diapers forever! Good luck!How do I deal with husband who doesn%26039;t change diapers?
Your husband isn't a history buff -- he's trying to guilt you into doing it. (You're marriage sounds like it has more deep-seeded power issues than can be addressed here)
Historically, there wasn't a huge division between home and work (that only came about during the Industrial Revolution when people had to go to the machines) So, even when the roles for men and women were there, they weren't as ridged as your husband would like you to believe.
HINT: Parents don't babysit -- they parent!! It shouldn't be about %26quot;being nice to you%26quot; it's about doing what needs to be done for the family to succeed.
Finally, changing dippers is a bonding experience for him and the baby. Many fathers find it to be quality time w/ baby because they don't get to have the nursing experience.How do I deal with husband who doesn%26039;t change diapers?
It's a futile debate cuz he'll always think he's right and you're wrong. Don't even waste your time tryin to reason with him, cuz obviously you can't.
Instead I suggest you stop doing something, maybe something that he should be doing. Or with holding sex or certain sexual favors might do the trick. And when he complains about it, come up with some stupid history lesson, just make it up if you have to. %26quot;Well back in the 1800's women didn't give bj's cuz that wasn't their role...blah blah blah%26quot; Or something lol.How do I deal with husband who doesn%26039;t change diapers?
I agree with all these answers. He doesn't feel like it's his job to change a diaper, so you should tell him it's not YOUR job to go down on him...
And about the whole %26quot;role of Man%26quot;, tell him a REAL man takes care of his family, supports and provides for them. And changing a diaper would be support.How do I deal with husband who doesn%26039;t change diapers?
Tell him how you feel. They are his kids to. And there should be fifty fifty effort into taking care of YALL kids.How do I deal with husband who doesn%26039;t change diapers?
Oh that would not fly if it were me.. I am blessed that my husband was always willing to help with things like this. If I were in your shoes, I would tell him that they are his children to and you are his wife and history or no history, this aint 1909 its 2009 and he can get his butt up and help.How do I deal with husband who doesn%26039;t change diapers?
he sounds like a pussy! a lazy one at that!
i think he is just pushing you to see what he can get away with.
i always use the 'have you fed her and changed her?' if i have left baby with hubby for a while. then if he says no, i say oh thanks alot! she's got nappy rash at the moment and you just let her sit in a s*hitty nappy for a couple of hours. i told you she had a rash this morning......
wether she actually does have a rash or not - a little guilt trip goes a long way...... also the little white lie about telling him about the rash will make him feel bad for not listening to you....
sneaky i know, but he's not playing fair either!
lolsHow do I deal with husband who doesn%26039;t change diapers?
A real man, a strong man, will do whatever they can for their familes. Including changing diapers.
Wimps are scared of diapers. Men aren't.
Tell him you find nothing sexier than a man caring for an infant. You would find it a great personal favor if he would change one diaper for you.How do I deal with husband who doesn%26039;t change diapers?
Ha, I'd hand him a dirty baby and simply say %26quot;Well start making history, change this kid!%26quot; and walk away.How do I deal with husband who doesn%26039;t change diapers?
Isn't this something you discussed before you had kids? Rather you realize it or not (or if it's ok with you or not) he's belittling you. I'd tell him a real man is not afraid to be fully involved in his children's upbringing, no matter how menial the task.How do I deal with husband who doesn%26039;t change diapers?
my husband is like that,well, he doesnt straight refuse to do it, he is much trickier than that. he, instead, opts to fling poo everywhere and/or step in it, he cusses and generally turns an easy job into a chore....so i just do it. my husband is a moron.
