I have a two-week old daughter, and I love her to death! But, it%26039;s a lot of work to take care of her needs. My boyfriend doesn%26039;t help out much. Specifically, he will not help change diapers. He says that the sight/smell makes him wanna vomit. I think it%26039;s a cop-out, but what can I do? I can%26039;t let my daughter sit in filth. How can I get him to understand that we BOTH conceived this child, and we BOTH should be taken the initiative to care for her? I know he loves her just as much as I do, but I think he%26039;s just clueless as to how much work it is to take care of an infant.
ALSO: I do most of the feeding as well. He feeds her maybe one bottle a day, and he%26039;s always in a hurry to hand her back to me.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
He will come around... He better!
Men don%26039;t have that maternal bond that we women do often times. It takes them a little bit to get used to the idea. PLUS, she is probably tiny and he might be just a little intimidated about holding her, changing her, etc... afraid that he might hurt her. So, instead he is acting macho or distant.
Trust me, he will come around... it might take a little time, but he will be super dad as long as you positively reinforce every time he does help. Encourage him, praise him for the little things he tries.
Best of luck mom!!! :) and congrats.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
L-O-S-E-R
He should step up and be a manBoyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
i think you need to talk to him about him start helping with maybe feeding or bathing her if he doesnt like changing diapers but you should tell him that he needs to start acting like a father and helping you with some of the work that comes with a babyBoyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
I would love to know the answer to this question.
To be honest I really truly just believe that men are scared as hell.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
He needs to grow up. Honestly I don%26039;t understand why you would have a child with such a prissy, metro- sexual, immature man.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
tell him that! he should help. it%26039;s his child too. you both should do 50%. tell him it would be easier on both ur parts if u both did half and half.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
Start putting the poopy diapers you change on his pillow. He%26039;ll get the hint.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
I know it sounds cliche, but try to actually sit and talk with him so you can get the point across thats its not a one man act. It does get tiring and you need help. It%26039;s not the easiest thing to do especially with an infant that needs attention 24/7.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
What a ****. He should have more help towards you. In this stage newborns are so much work. When your baby gets older it will get easier.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
usually guys dont change dirty diapers... my boyfriend has actually puked before... I really dont think its a cop out... and I understand how you feel... but does he work??? and do you not??? if so I am in the same situation and I think of that stuff as my job and he has his... it helps me... but if you both have jobs then you can just keep asking thats all you can do...Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
Tell him to watch her for 5 min and leave him with her for the whole day, he%26039;ll learn his lessonBoyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
It sounds like you need to leave daddy and bay for a few hours (or a day!) to get acquainted. If he is forced to take care of her on his own, maybe he will realize how much work you do. You also need to talk to him about your feelings. If you%26039;re feeling resentful towards him then that could make for a bad situation, which could cause stress and upset the baby.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
i would just tell him that changing diapers is part of being a parent. tell him to get a clip and put it over his nose or something. also tell him that she will only need to be changed and feed with your help until about the age of two so its not going to last forever. but still she is only two week old so after a while he should just get used to it. congratulations too.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
tell him since the child came from his dna that technically the poop is a part of him too.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
hey girl ,
tell him this you did make this baby all on your own so you can help me
if you need help just send me a email at babygurl182008@att.netBoyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
He just seems really awkward. While youre changing her slowly get him to help out in small ways. While shes on the changing table, ask him to bring you wipes or a diaper, or ask him to stand there while you get something (like a diaper) then hand it to him and ask him to finish while you go get something else important (like diaper rash ointment).
Also, some bonding time between the two of them would really help. It seems like he%26039;s acting as if its not his child. Give him a chance to get really attached. You had 9 months more time than him, he%26039;s only had a few weeks.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
I agree it might be a cop-out since I dislike changing my cat%26039;s litter (teh smell could peel the wallpaper) or my nephews when my sister are unable to do it but I rather NOT allow them sit in it or have them uncomfortable.
It will be hard to convince him to WANT TO help but MAYBE try to convince him you guys are a team in this. He might be mad buthe should It is the best for his daughter :)Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
Well it seems like you have a very beautiful daughter. Congratualations by the way!
This is a hard time now. Everything%26039;s changing and reality is finally sinking in. Everything is done for the child. The child comes first. But you already know that.
When it comes to the parent%26039;s responsibilities, I feel that both parents should compliment each other. What I mean is that you both do your share of things. That doesn%26039;t have to mean that if you change the diapers 5 times , he%26039;s got to change them 5 times. Just try to spread out the chores, work, and responsibilities as equally as possible. I know someone that the father works, the mother stays home and takes care of the kids. When he comes home he takes the kid and changes the diapers, feeds them, while she relaxes. Then maybe he%26039;ll do the dishes and she%26039;ll cook dinner. That%26039;s balanced. But it doesn%26039;t have to be to the exact. Chances are you will be spending more time with your daughter.
Does he work? Does he take care of the house? Does he clean? Does he mow the lawn?
I think you two should have a %26quot;state of the union%26quot; meeting. Lay things out on the table and figure out who does what and work things out.
Hey, hope this helps. Good luck!
P.S. Girls control certain things that may influence a guy to do something.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
Girl, I%26039;m in the same boat with ya! Actually I posted a similar question to this a few days ago. My little girl is 6 months old, and my man changed her diaper and bathed her one time( in the hospital when she was born) I guess its a loss cause. these people say oh tell him you did this together and blah blah..But I%26039;ve come to realize men are scared of babies and everything that comes out of them..So just love your man for what he is, a big baby fearing chicken!!Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
Childish man. He needs to start putting the needs of his daughter over his own needs! The baby will get bigger and bigger fast and feeding times will be spaced apart more and you will be getting more sleep, but he needs to help you out now as much as he can or else you might end up resenting him for it. I had the same problem with my husband. I left his ***, went to out of the country to stay with my father and his wife and both loved and cared for my baby as if it were their own. I GOT SO MUCH HELP. And what a difference it makes. Needless to say, he helps me out ALOT more now after that. He needs to stop thinking he can have it so good while you suffer! What kind of a man is that.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
Tell him to step up and be a man. My husband is 22 and is a Stay at home Daddy. I have always been the money maker, and I can%26039;t stay at home all day... I would get too ancey. Let him know there are men out there that do everything. When my little girl came home, my husband was up every 4hours for feedings, washed her bottles, changed her, did EVERYTHING for her, while I work 8hrs a day, came home, ate and went to sleep. There are REAL men out there, and if he can%26039;t be one, find you one that will... plenty of men would love to be daddys!Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
These men arent scared, they%26039;re just p*****%26039;s!
Definately, put one of her dirty diapers on or under his pillow or leave them alone together for a few hours..even if she doesnt poop during this time, he needs to get used to his child one way or the other.
He definately needs to step up!Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
Next time she has a dirty diaper, pick her up and hand her to him. Grab him a diaper and tell him to do it. He%26039;s not going to pick up on any hints that you might drop. Tell him that the smell if just as nauseating for you as it is for him. Tell him she%26039;s half his, too %26amp; he needs to start acting like it.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
unfortuantly not all father%26039;s know what to do right away it takes them a while to get used to being a father and have other responsibilty. just give him time let him hold her when she%26039;s not hungry or needs to be changed so he can bond with her. dad%26039;s don%26039;t always form that bond right away. when my daughter was born my husband (at the time boyfriend) was afraid to hold her and didn%26039;t like changing her either but now he can%26039;t get enough of her he has to hold her and kiss her that%26039;s his princess give him some time.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
My husband will do anything to avoid changing diapers. Initially this bugged me but I have realized it can work to my benefit. He would seriously rather take our son for an hour walk (mommy alone time) than change one little poopy diaper. I find most dads (nobody hate me for saying this, I didn%26039;t say all) are better at playing with babies than the other stuff. I admit at the end of the day I%26039;m tired of peekaboo but my husband comes home and plays with our son and it%26039;s better than him changing diapers. I%26039;d talk to your boyfriend and tell him you%26039;re exhausted and need help. If he%26039;s willing to help out in other areas he may be telling the truth about the diapers (my mother can%26039;t change poopy diapers, my step-dad has to do it when they babysit!). If he persists in not helping you may have to start handing her to him when you shower, make dinner or whatever. He may be scared or lazy but either way this will help him get used to taking care of his own daughter.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
There are a lot of valid points out there, but not one concerning his feelings of inadequacy at being a parent. Men generally don%26039;t hang out with babies when they are younger and don%26039;t know how to interact with them until they are about 6 mo. When they start to communicate more with other sounds other than crying. They are scared of hurting a little baby, dropping, holding too tight, breaking baby. Daddy is way bigger than little girl. Make a deal with him you change the poopy ones, he gets the wet ones. Give him a chance to see he won%26039;t hurt her. Have him assist you with baby %26quot;chores%26quot;. Don%26039;t scold or degrade him it will only make him feel more insecure. Remember when your mom or dad yelled at you for something that you weren%26039;t sure you could do? How did you feel? Well, in someways he is experiencing the same thing. Include him in all choices and decisions that are baby related. It is not easy to be a parent, and if you want him to help then you need to %26quot;teach%26quot; him not to be afraid of his daughter. Remind him she won%26039;t bite, at least not until she starts teething anyway. Please be patient with him, I was with my scaredy man, but he got over it and now he changes our third child without so much as a whimper.
He even volunteers when I%26039;m busy, tired, sleeping, shopping. It will get better. If need be, enlist his mother to help guide him. If she is an option. Good luck and God Bless.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
Gee maybe you should have TALKED about having babies and duties for taking care of babies BEFORE you had sex. He obviously isn%26039;t comfortable feeding babies and changing diapers. The fact that you WANT him too is a moot point.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
To be honest, my husband does not change dirty diapers unless I%26039;m not home. But then, he is in charge of bathing the baby. Also, he works and I do not. And since the beginning of our marriage I DO NOT vacuum. I hate it. He knows that, so he does it himself.
When the baby was born I exchanged diapers for baths. I don%26039;t mind changing a diaper at all, and he%26039;s a pro at bathing the baby quickly (she hates it) so it works out for us.
Talk to him about being overwhelmed and pick something he can be responsible for. You%26039;ll probably have to remind him to do it, though :)Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
Hire a nanny.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
force him too help!!! tell him that u can`t do it all on your own.Boyfriend won%26039;t help change diapers???
i%26039;m guessing that your young and this wasn%26039;t preplanned or if it was, not thought through. you can%26039;t make people do things. so he%26039;s not that great in the dad department. you pick em
